Often we write off our own or other people’s unseemly acts and undesirable emotions on the character. As if he are something outside our power. But is it? That we can change in ourselves in order to facilitate and enrich life, and what is laid in our “firmware” forever?

“He has a bad character”, “she is so hot -tempered!”,” She has a friendly disposition “… How often do we endure a verdict that is not subject to review. And sometimes we print ourselves, not giving a chance to change. But in our emotional world, everything is not so unshakable and unambiguous.

“The character is a set of behavioral strategies and the best ways to cope with an unexpected or stressful situation, emotions are part of this complex complex,” explains Svetlana Timofeev’s emotionally focused therapist. – And the nasty character, as is popularly called, is a manifestation of behavior that can cause suffering and its “happy owner” and others ”.

When we are unhappy with someone’s character, we understand that we do not like the way he shows emotions, we are uncomfortable next to him, and sometimes unsafe. Can he regulate these emotional bursts himself? First, try to figure out where the emotions come from and what they are.

Basic equipment and tuning

Basic emotions are laid in us when we are still in the maternal womb. “The embryo reacts to the surrounding influences, in 9 weeks it recognizes the taste of

În primul rând, este destul de neobișnuit și rareori îi spune. În al doilea rând, vă ajută să vă apropiați de fiecare sens, pentru că pentru această postură trebuie să fiți capabili să luați roluri diferite și să râdeți de voi înșivă, dacă nu s -a întâmplat ceva. Adică puteți învăța ceva nou unul pe celălalt. Cu siguranță va kamagra ce mișcări îți plac cel mai bine!

amniotic water, he hears sounds at 16 weeks, distinguishes light at 25 weeks, some of the sensations are pleasant to it, others are not. This is the basis of future emotions, says Svetlana Timofeeva.

– after birth, the child continues to actively develop the brain, including a waist of my belief, which is responsible for the formation of emotional intelligence and the ability to cooperate. The more the child is in empathic contact with an adult who responds to his affection needs, the more diverse the connections in this area of the brain ”.

This helps in the future to regulate your emotions, make contact with people around and maintain it, easier to cope with stress.

Regarding how much basic emotional states we have, psychologists do not converge in opinions: four – anger, fear, joy, sadness, sometimes adding the fifth – love in transactive analysis. Emotional-focused therapist adds disgust and interest that encourages us to explore the world from infancy.

Also, there are no consensus from practicing psychologists about what emotions are and what distinguishes them from feelings. Someone believes that the difference in intensity, someone is in duration, someone is in the degree of manifestation. Is it so important, they ask. The main thing is what our manifestations are outside, and let the classification remain for science.

Character – complex structure. “It is based on a natural temperament associated with the speed of psychophysiological processes of excitation and inhibition,” explains art therapist Anna Efimkina. – Then the skills of behavior are added to this, which would be convenient for others.

Character is the first thing parents try to fly out of us, prohibiting the manifestation of some emotions and reinforcing the manifestation of others, at the same time focusing on society. When we leave our microsocium – family – into the world, we encounter other people and their way of manifestation of emotions and feelings. “.

So the character, unlike temperament, is directly related to education

“Education is to put on social masks that allow us to be predictable, and therefore safe for others,” continues Anna Efimkina. – They come to us all the time with an assessment scale: what are you for us now?”

We get used to evaluating ourselves in the same way, and as a result, we often confuse our emotions with how they are expressed in behavior. And we try to suppress them completely, instead of looking for different ways of their manifestation.

“Emotions are our vital adaptive mechanisms,” recalls Svetlana Timofeeva. – And in no case should you refuse them. Try to take away the vital, embedded emotions from a person (unlike social ones: they include, for example, shame) – this is how to bring him to the forest and select a map and a compass. Each emotion has its own function, helping us survive “. For example, manifestations of fear are not approved in society. But in a situation where we walk along the dark alley and hear steps behind our backs, the fear that makes us add a step can be saving.

“Character is that I can help change the person who came to me,” continues Anna Efimkina. – we are not able to change emotions, but we can learn how to realize them. Some of us were banned in childhood to be angry, someone to cry. Psychotherapy is a process of education: through layers of social masks, we get to the core, where there is a place for all feelings, and then the client learns to regulate their manifestation ”.